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Hook up bars upper east side

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Good morning, idiot hookers, and once again congratulations for making it to Thursday, which is basically Friday.

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NYC is supposed to be the land of possibilities and one of those possibilities should be landing your own wolf of Wall Street. You know, if your wolf looks less like Leo Dicaprio and more like Chuck Bass with a dad bod left over from college and a casual coke problem.

A girl can dream. My standard for guys is lower—more like drunkest guy at happy hour. Obviously, my mother is v proud.

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But because I value my journalistic duty like to drink I still definitely hang out at bars where the finance bros gather to drink overpriced beer and whiskey. Contrary to what Gossip Girl led us to believe, the Upper East Side is not actually the be-all and end-all of the New York social scene.

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Because, yes, there are finance bros who Serena probs drunkenly slept with in the 10th grade that hang out there but those guys are probably also like, Or they act Either way, I did not sign up to get shitfaced and also talk about where I think the stock market is going this year.

Again, my mother is so proud. In case you need me to paint a clearer picture for you, you know that guy with the dad bod and casual coke problem that I mentioned before?

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Something about the low-key models running around in athleisure gear taking their damn time in the Starbucks line at 9am just screams money.

And the Jane Hotel is a staple among the rich and the kind of boring. But like, season one Chuck Bass who wore an unreasonable amount of Ralph Lauren polo shirts and tried to low-key rape high school freshmen.

First of all, the vibe of this place is just confusing. That being said, he also looked like the kind of guy who would offer to pay for more than just a shot of Fireball or the shittiest beer on tap so, like, I was here for it.

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I imagine this is the kind of bar where that year-old with a really great fake that you met at Houston Hall one time goes when he grows up hits 25 and has a crisis of conscience. Hope to see ya soon, buddy! I had to include another outdoor bar because I so enjoy day drinking for the Insta.

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Not only does this bar guarantee you a new riverside profile pic, but it also guarantees you a lot of time spent in the company of men who wear shit like this:. Definitely hit this place up on summer Fridays and be sure to wear your sluttiest pastels. This crowd Hook up bars upper east side eat that shit up.

In a previous post I mentioned that this bar is a place where New Jersey commuting douchebags hang out and also maybe Trump supporters.


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