You love the idea of me. Maybe you like how I look or how I make you feel. People are largely mistaken on what true love really is. Imagine someone knowing all about you. Even the small things. Imagine messing up, and even letting that person down.
They even notice the small things, like that scar above your eye. The way your eyes dart around the room when your nervous. They love your heart. Your flaws make you unique.
And give them the space and permission to be just as human. A few who I actually believe understood me and got me enough to fully appreciate me. That was the end for me. That is not love.
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My ability to nurture my child? The way my eyes light up when I feel super happy? I am sure there are many men and women who only care about status, how their partner looks and what they can do for them.
Self-serving love is not love. Its a tripod of passion, intimacy, and commitment. You have to have all three for it to be lasting love. Infatuation is so strong that people often mistake it for love.
Nothing turns me off more than selfishness. My dad is a psychopath and he was hopelessly selfish. He would show my brother and I love in the form of gifts. He was hopelessly selfish. He would often behave as a child.
Now when I see this trait in a man, I want to vomit. But not everyone is my father, and I know that. This is just something that personally triggers me.
I want a loving, giving, sweet, and Even if were not dating your still mine man. Hopefully they still exist. I know no one is perfect, but some people are more selfish than others. I would hope to find someone who tips the scale in the right direction.
This goes two ways I know. We are all selfish on a certain level. But a good person will try and give of their time, their money, their efforts, and energy to the people they care about.
They will do their best. When someone loves you, they love all of you. They see where you are weak, and they understand. They may not like it, but they are patient with you.
They trust in the better side of you and believe in who you are. When they are upset with you, they talk to you about it in a calm way. They care Even if were not dating your still mine about the relationship than they do about being right. It just comes naturally. You make a choice. Let you down in a big way perhaps. You choose to be kind.
You choose to be sweet to them. You may kiss them on the forehead and tell them good morning. Have breakfast with me. You put yourself aside. You give despite your hurt feelings. It touches them, and then they will most likely feel like shit for being a brat to you Even if were not dating your still mine apologize and you both can go about your day loving each other. Selflessness is a precursor to love. You surprise them with little gifts that are unique to them or the two of you.
They call it codependent when one person is doing all the giving. There are so many relationships like that. So that person you are dating or in a relationship with. Do they really know you? Would they have to scratch their head if someone asked them why they love you?
My brother fell for his Even if were not dating your still mine wife quickly, but I know other couples who it took them months, and others who broke up a few times and finally settled into love.
They could be afraid to be confronted with your inherit value and the responsibility of caring for your heart. Some people also self-sabotage things out of fear.
Can you be mad at a pig for trampling on the pearls you tossed before him? Why is he stomping on them and getting them all muddy you ask? They are living for the moment- for a feeling.
When you do the work of loving someone, the sacrifice of giving of yourself, the good feelings naturally follow.
If you reap the work, you will sow the reward. It is sometimes that feeling right away, but not always. Feelings come and go. Wait for someone who gets you first, and then decide whether or not you feel the same. Unrequited love is painful. Wait to love someone who loves you back. Someone who can appreciate and understand all of you. There are all kinds of people in the world.
I read this French proverb once and it really stuck with me:. It has to be made new. This suggests that love is some work. You do the work the energy, sacrifice, time, etc first and then you reap the benefit of the feeling. Anything else is infatuation and will ultimately fade, and usually within a few months.
Love at first sight is nothing more than infatuation. You like how they look. Why not wait for someone with a heart of gold who will bless your life? Can you laugh with her?
Can you be vulnerable and cry on her shoulder when you feel like the whole world is against you? Those things bury seeds deep in your heart. And I dare say, you even need them. Did you enjoy this article? Show your love and support by holding down the clap button!