How do I handle performance anxiety with a new partner? I've been dating someone for about a month and last week talked and decided to be exclusive. Since then, we have seen each other three times and spent significant time in bed making out and twice it has eventually led to sex.
The first time, he was able to do it but only lasted two minutes. The second time, he lost his erection right beforehand and so we hung out and talked in bed for awhile and eventually we were able to try again, but this time, he lasted less than a minute. Then last night we made out for a long time but he didn't even try to have sex even though he did have an erection.
I didn't ask because I thought that might make him nervous. I really like this guy but this is frustrating! I am afraid to talk to him about it for fear of making it worse.
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I did tell him when he lost his erection that it was fine and that whatever happens is okay, but truthfully, I really enjoy sex and I probably can't be happy in an exclusive relationship with sexual difficulties of this level. Dating a guy with performance anxiety I just be patient and keep quiet and hope he gets more comfortable with me over time, or do I need to bring this up? And if so, what do I say? I should mention this guy is 26 and has been in serious relationships before, so I know he has experience.
Share Share this post on Digg Del. There could be a number of things causing it. Best bet is to talk to him if it continues. Drugs, Alcohol abuse, low Testosterone, being overweight are but a few of the things. Even though it might make it worse I think you won't be happy till you talk about it with him. Just be sensitive and ask the questions you've wanted to ask like "has this been a problem with past gf's?
I don't know how he's wired but for me, the first few times there's a lotg of anxiety, I ended up Dating a guy with performance anxiety Viagra at one point but my doctor said I don't really need it since I'm in good shape and young. However he believes it helped my confidence just knowing that Dating a guy with performance anxiety pill was "helping me".
I am usually more at ease with a woman after a few weeks and if she helps me by telling me what she likes and also letting me know I'm doing it right.
It's really all about communication. For me I rather talk about sex than assuming about it. However, you'll find that after he's comfortable with you, the sex will get MUCH better.
I've been doing what you guys are doing for four months! But the relationship is so good otherwise that I can't just let it go yet I must be stupid. Did you try to talk to him?
I'm curious if you did, what did you say? I feel bad for you -- four months is a loooooooong time!
Simple, just do it more often, then it will last much longer. If he finds you attractive enough, he'll do ya many times till you're sore. Remember, a man is Dating a guy with performance anxiety just a live dildoyou have to turn him on as a woman and make him want to please you. I won't go into detail here but let's say I do a lot perk his interest -- I don't just lay there and expect him to do everything to me.
It's just the actual sex that's an issue -- everything else we're doing in bed is great. I'm going to talk to him soon because I don't think this problem will just go away without some discussion.
Any more tips on what to say -- how to phrase it? I think he's just feeling insecure and I don't Dating a guy with performance anxiety to amplify those feelings. Originally Posted by SingleAgain He avoids alcohol almost completely when we hang out and I know he likes to drink with his friends so I'm just going to assume that getting drunk with him at this point is not a option for whatever reason.
I do like the idea of phrasing it as being "out of sync" with each other and wanting to work towards being more "in sync. Maybe you could invite him out for a drink one day - for happy hour, just for fun - and see how it goes. One of the most "in sync" sexual positions is missionary girl on her back, guy on top.
It's a very intimate position because you are so physically close and can feel eachothers skin.
Maybe if you want more pleasure, give him some directions on foreplay. He will love knowing that he is doing something right and it will help boost his confidence. I don't know what to suggest, But anyway, two things: Basically, most healthy guys get a hang on this soon after Dating a guy with performance anxiety teenage years Same for the erection problems: Of these, only 3 is nothing to worry about Finally, the way I handle performance anxiety is not to think about it at all.
The very first time yo uhave sex with somebody usually is not that great anyway. Unless there are health or major psycho-issues, mother nature takes care of things more or less in the ballpark. I'm still not sure if my new girlfriend of several weeks has had an orgasm yet.
But, both of us initiate sex and thigs are getting in sync. Remember, alcohol does inhibit erections, so if you expect him to be looser by getting him drunk, just remember that you'll also get him limper. All times are GMT The time now is 4: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice.
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Page 1 of 2. Capital of the free world Posts: I must be stupid Share Share this post on Digg Del. Originally Posted by SingleAgain08 I Dating a guy with performance anxiety go into detail here but let's say I do a lot perk his interest -- I don't just lay there and expect him to do everything to me. Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being.
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Occasinaly grind on him when things are getting hot and heavy but not his dick, that's just gonna make him aware and then anxiety and yada. P.S.
The more a guy likes you, FEM, the more performance anxiety he may experience. And the more he likes you, the more invested he may.
In the long run, porn feeds men's performance anxiety. While watching it, we free ourselves from performance anxiety, but after we can't help but wonder how we.
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